


Strength

by anglmukhii



Series: otayuri week 2017 [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Day Five: Fears & Encouragement, M/M, Minor Character Death, OtaYuri Week, OtaYuri Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9917558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anglmukhii/pseuds/anglmukhii
Summary: Yuri was strong, but he was also human. When his grandfather dies, his fears take over and he loses all motivation. But Otabek's there to show him not to give up or give in just yet...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Day Five! I'm really late on writing these oops. I decided to combine prompts today. Why not? They fit.

The only thing Yuri had ever really feared to lose was a competition. He had never been satisfied being second best, regardless of how high he was ranked in comparison. He would be the best or nothing else. And that was just about it for him. He didn’t care for people, with the exception of his grandpa.

His win at the Grand Prix Final in his Senior Debut had changed him. Everyone had expected his head to be inflated, his ego satisfying his ego. But he had been surprisingly quiet, gracious even. Everyone wondered what had happened to the young Russian. It was simple.

For the first time in his life, he didn’t just care for just winning. His win hadn’t been for him and he knew it. Whether or not everyone else had was up to them.

The love of different people had started to change him and he didn’t bother fighting it.

And more importantly, he had met Otabek. Even without meaning to, the older boy had had an effect on him. The quiet enigma that was Otabek Altin had taught Yuri a thing or two about humility. Otabek never bragged about his medals or insulted his competitors. Even if someone annoyed the hell out of him, he was nothing but polite. And it had begun to rub off on the young Russian skater very quickly.

That wasn’t to say that he had shed his bratty exterior. Not by a long shot. He had just toned it down.

Anyone could see the small smile that had appeared on Yuri’s face whenever he spoke to Otabek. The soft blush that accompanied it was all that anyone needed to know what was going on in his mind and heart.

Yuri figured it out over breakfast when Otabek had come to visit. It had been a semi-surprise as Otabek had been talking about it for a while. He didn’t expect him to show up at the rink one late winter morning, clapping as he exited the rink.

Since Otabek had motorcycled his way into Yuri’s life, he had been Yuri’s biggest supporter and source of encouragement. Of course Victor, Yuuri, Yakov, and the other skaters on Team Russia had always been there, but Otabek was special.

And it was over breakfast that Yuri figured it out. His feelings for the boy weren’t just friendly, they were more. They were special. It made him feel warm on the inside and some of the ice on his exterior had started to melt.

“You have an excellent taste in music,” Yuri said, taking out the earbud. Turns out, Otabek had a soft spot for 80s rock and glam.

Otabek smiled, “Well thank you, I thought you’d like it after seeing your exhibition.”

Yuri shook his head, “I was on my own with that one. Yakov and Lilia nearly had a heart attack when I made them listen to it. They had no idea how to choreograph it so I took a page out of Victor’s book.”

“Well, you definitely surprised everyone with it. I have to say, though, you somehow were able to look graceful out there despite the music,” he commented, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Really?” Yuri felt the blush creeping up on his face again. And that was when it happened. Otabek didn’t see the rebellious fairy that everyone else had, but just him. His heart swelled ten-fold at the realization.

Otabek was special. And he was someone that Yuri never wanted to lose…

* * *

 

Life wasn’t predictable. Nor was it kind or fair. No one knew that more than Yuri. He never knew his father, his mother had walked out when he was 5, and his grandpa was the only person who seemed to care about what happened to him. Within the first 10 years of his life, he’d seen and experienced the ugly side of life more than anyone should.

He had the “eyes of a soldier” as Otabek had put it. He was strong, he was tough, but he was still human. And he was about to find his breaking point when he walked into his apartment after breakfast. He was still smiling from the realization of his feelings when his phone rang.

His smile melted into a scowl as he looked at the caller ID. It was a number he didn’t recognize but it was coming from Moscow. There would only be one reason for that…

“Hello?” he answered gruffly.

“Is this Yuri Plisetsky?” a quiet, polite voice inquired on the other end.

“Da, who is this?”

“Your grandfather Nikolai was found outside his apartment. I’m afraid he suffered a massive stroke,” the woman answered. And Yuri nearly dropped the phone.

A stroke. A _massive_ stroke. His grandfather was found outside of his apartment after having suffered one. Who knew how long he was out there?

The tears began to form as he gulped down a sob, “What hospital is he at?”

* * *

 

A last minute plane ticket was so ridiculously expensive that it should be considered a crime. But expenses were the least of Yuri’s concerns as he quickly purchased a ticket for the earliest possible flight to Moscow. The flight was that evening. Yuri just through all of his essentials into one bag. He didn’t know how long he would be gone, but there were a few last minute things that needed to be done. A neighbor promised to come and feed his cat every day.

Being around Otabek had made him a tad bit considerate, so he scribbled a quick note.

_Grandpa’s in the hospital. Went to Moscow. Don’t know how long I’ll be there._

Someone would find the note. Yakov and Otabek had the spare keys to his apartment. One of them would notice and come barging in. Yakov most likely, but he would understand. He would have to.

The flight took an hour and a half, Yuri felt nauseous the whole time. His grandpa would have to get better. He just had to. Yuri couldn’t live without him; he was the only family he had left. He would be all alone in the world without him. Despite his grandfather’s insistence, he would move him to St. Petersburg if he got better. He would convince him somehow.

And seeing all the machines that his grandfather was hooked up to made reality set in for Yuri.

“The man has amazing willpower, it’s the only thing keeping him alive right now. He’s a fighter, but…” the doctor didn’t say anything more because Yuri had walked into the room and fallen on the seat beside the bed.

“Grandpa, I’m sorry…” he whispered, tears falling freely as he said it. And he was truly sorry. Since his win, he hadn’t spoken very much to his grandpa. The person he’d really been in contact with was…Otabek. He hadn’t bothered to inquire about his health or anything.

“Please get better. I’ll do better I promise. Just please…get better. Don’t leave me,” he promised and pleaded. The doctor felt sympathy, right now he wasn’t Russia’s rising skating star. Right now he was a young boy. A young boy on the verge of losing the only family he had ever known…

Yuri barely left his grandfather’s side. His phone had been going off the hook. He didn’t answer the phone calls, he didn’t respond to texts, and he let his phone die.

“Yura…” the deep, familiar voice snapped him out of his…whatever. He wasn’t thinking much these days. He prayed and prayed, but to no avail it seemed. He had just gone blank.

He turned around to see Otabek, concern and sadness clouding his usually expressionless eyes. What was he doing here?

“Beka, what are you doing here?” his voice was small. “How did you even get in here?”

Otabek shook his head, “I just asked the front desk. I needed to see you. You left so suddenly and everyone’s worried about you…”

“I said I was in Moscow for my grandpa. Look at him, Beka…” his voice broke, trying not to cry. He had done so much crying and he wasn’t yet done. His grandpa didn’t seem to fare any better. It had been days. The doctors didn’t understand it.

“Yura…” Otabek was at a loss for words. He had hopped on a flight without a second thought. He wasn’t very good at comfort. But he needed to be here, by Yuri’s side. Whatever he could do, he would do it.

“Excuse me? Mr. Plisetsky? We need to talk to you,” the doctor’s heavy voice cut their moment short.

Yuri turned around and said, “What is it?”

“Seeing as you’re his only relative as well the only person he would allow to make this decision for him, we must be honest with you…” he began.

“Wait, what decision?” Yuri’s voice was gravelly from exhaustion and crying.

The doctor shifted uncomfortably, “The decision to take him off of life support.”

No.

_No._

“Take him off of…” his voice trailed off, he felt Otabek squeezing his shoulder.

“What are the chances of survival?” Otabek formed the words that Yuri himself couldn’t bring himself to. If there was even a small chance, Yuri had to hold out for that hope. This was the only family he had left; he’d cling to any hope he could right now.

The doctor shook his head, “None.”

This was wrong. That had to be wrong.

“No, that can’t be right…there’s got to be something you can do!” Yuri begged.

The doctor regretfully shook his head, “His organs are shutting down one by one. He’s in a great deal of pain, sir. We can only imagine that he’s alive on sheer will. But without that machine, he will die.”

The words weren’t registering with Yuri at all. All accept, “he’s in a great deal of pain.”

His grandpa was in pain. He was suffering. His organs were shutting down and even if he miraculously survived, he could barely be considered alive. The only merciful thing to do was…

“C-can I have a moment please?” he pleaded. The doctor nodded his head in understanding as he exited the room.

“Yura, are you…?” Otabek asked, not knowing what to do exactly. Yuri didn’t respond and just turned to his grandpa.

“Forgive me grandpa. I’m so sorry…I couldn’t help you. I don’t want you to leave me but I can’t stand to see you suffer anymore,” he was sobbing at this point. “So…I have to…”

He couldn’t bring himself to say, “Let you go.” It was too much. He couldn’t fall apart right now. There would be time for that.

“I’m here, I’m here,” that was odd, Otabek’s voice sounded far away. And whatever happened after that was a blur.

* * *

 

It was like the world was flashing before him. He had gone through the funeral in a daze. If Otabek hadn’t been there for him, he would’ve stood in front of the grave and wasted away. He didn’t cry or anything. He just felt completely hollow.

He’d talk to Otabek here and there, saying one or two words at most. He’d been dragged back to St. Petersburg somehow. Yakov didn’t yell, he didn’t scold. He hugged the boy. Yuri was too numb to be surprised. Everyone hugged him that day, he didn’t shove anyone off.

Competitions were still going on, so Otabek had to head back to Almaty soon. Yuri didn’t want him to leave. He’d dutifully stayed by Yuri’s side despite the fact that Yuri neither talked or went out anymore. Sometimes they would just sit quietly for hours. Despite it all, he never complained.

Speaking of competitions, Yuri didn’t have the drive to compete. In fact, he barely showed up at the rink anymore. What was the point of going anymore? He just wanted to retire. And he announced his intentions, much to the dismay of everyone else.

“Yuri!” Yakov was about to scold him but Yuri stopped him.

“I don’t feel motivated anymore! What’s the point? Just don’t bother saying anything!” he barked before storming out. Everyone stared, but no one ran after him.

And Otabek found him sitting on the floor, hugging his knees. He had the usual look of irritation, but his eyes said something different altogether. He was just…sad.

“You belong on that Ice, Yura,” Otabek said, not beating around the bush.

“Whatever,” was his reply.

Now it took a lot to get under Otabek’s skin. You usually had to try really hard and even then, most people didn’t succeed. But Yuri, he was succeeding. It hurt him to see Yuri like this. It was like he had completely given up on anything that was important to him. Which, he might as well have. He wasn’t saying it, but he was trying to run away. Anything that reminded him of his pain, he didn’t want to have to deal with. That’s why he shut himself off.

His grandfather had been the one to support his figure skating dreams and now he wasn’t here.

But Yuri had to get back up. Life wasn’t going to stop just because he seemingly wanted it.

“Don’t say that Yura. Do you think your grandfather would want you here, running away from the thing you love doing because it reminds you of him?” he was treading into dangerous waters and he knew it. And he was prepared for the consequences.

“Don’t! Not you too Beka!” he growled, looking up at him. “You were supposed to be the one person who understood me!”

“I do Yura! I do! But you’re not making the right choice! You’re only 16! You have yet to take the world by storm! That’s what your grandpa would want, because that’s what you’re meant to do!”

“And how would you know?” Yuri was raging now, “You don’t know what he would have wanted! And you never will! He’s gone and he’s left me alone!”

Well now they were getting somewhere.

“He would want you to be happy. Are you honestly happy sitting here on your own? Not talking to anyone?” he pressed.

“It doesn’t matter,” he was coiling back.

“Don’t! Please, Yura! This has gone on too long. It’s okay to be sad, but don’t throw everything you’ve worked for because of this,” this was the most Otabek had spoken and he wasn’t backing down.

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!” Yuri yelled as he clapped his hands over his ear, trying to block ot anything the older boy was saying.

“No I won’t! Because I care about you and want to see you achieve your dreams!” the anger was plain on his face now.

Yuri flew at him then but Otabek grabbed his hands before he could do anything. He tried to wiggle free but Otabek wasn’t having it, “Yuri, enough!”

He stopped struggling at the sound of Otabek’s voice booming at him. He’d never raised his voice like that at him and stared wide-eyed at him, tears beginning to form.

“Enough,” he repeated, this time in a whisper.

And that’s all it took for Yuri to crumple down onto the floor, sobs erupting from his throat. Otabek’s eyes softened as he sunk down onto the floor with him. He didn’t say anything more as he held him.

“I’m scared Beka, I’m really scared,” he whimpered. Otabek just responded with a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“I know, Yura.”

“What am I going to do? How am I supposed to…do any of this without him? I don’t have any other family besides him,” he continued on.

Otabek pushed away slightly so that their eyes could meet, “That’s not true. Maybe it’s not by blood but you have Yakov, Victor, Yuuri, the other skaters, the people in Japan…and you have me.”

“Yeah but…” he sniffled. “But…he’s all I had for so long…now…”

“Now, you have us all. We’re here to help and encourage you along the way,” he reassured, pulling him back in.

Yuri returned the embrace, “You think I can really get back out there?”

“I _know_ you can. You’re a soldier Yura. You’ve endured up until now and I know you will keep doing so. I promise you that you will,” he replied and Yuri just melted even more into his embrace.

“I love you Beka,” he mumbled into his chest. It was so quiet that Otabek almost didn’t catch it.

Otabek gave him the smallest of smiles, “I love you too, Yura…”

* * *

 

It took a while, but Yuri was finally back in competition. He had sat out the rest of the previous season. But he had been back and he’d worked harder than ever. Everyone was relieved to see him back at it, even if his heart was heavy. But he pushed through, his strength carrying him.

Which had given him the idea for his theme for the season: strength.

He was about to step onto the ice for the first time. His rabid fans had shown up and while they still annoyed him, he was secretly grateful to them. They seemed to love him regardless.

He skated out, feeling slightly nauseous. He was scared, yes. While he had no biological family, his friends were good enough. More than good enough, but he was still new to that whole concept. How could-

“Yuri, davai!” he was snapped out of his anxious thoughts by a familiar voice in the sidelines. There was Otabek, standing there, wishing him luck as he always did. Yuri smiled before giving him a thumbs up.

It was as he always thought: Otabek was special…and he was grateful that he was not going to lose him. And in that realization, Yuri found yet another source of strength…

**Author's Note:**

> Here you go! My procrastinating ass has given you some angst to read, because I've been dying to write some Otayuri angst but the right opportunity had yet to present itself. I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> As usual, this is on my Tumblr, same name as here!


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